tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84879168366174138192024-03-14T01:00:39.324-07:00PossibilitiesThis blog is a collection of my dreams, my day dreams, my goals, my desires, my hope. It is my intention to use these possibilities to fill my life with more joy and to be able to think more freely about what IS possibile and what I actually want instead of getting stuck in old ways of thinking and doing.Karmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10708512001313683928noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487916836617413819.post-7578493708947079242007-11-01T09:00:00.000-07:002007-11-01T09:02:03.523-07:00Not to Be Ruled By FearI've noticed more and more how much fear influences my decisions and my daily actions. I would love one day to have fear not play such a major role in my life. I wouldn't fear love or relationships or getting hurt or failure...or maybe I still would a little, but I'll find a way to just let the fear go instead of letting it rule me so and make me so anxious all the time.Karmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10708512001313683928noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487916836617413819.post-20848135298453783512007-08-13T19:50:00.000-07:002007-08-13T21:01:02.282-07:00Lots and Lots of FriendsI'd like to have a ton of friends - old friends, new friends, true friends, cool friends. I want to keep my friendships with people all over, but I also really want a lot of local friends. I want book club friends, dinner party friends, Jewish friends, queer friends, academic friends, down to earth friends, changing the world friends, inspiring friends, supportive friends, spiritual friends, traveling friends, personal growth friends. I'll be there for them, and they'll be there for me.Karmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10708512001313683928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487916836617413819.post-4713436747390170862007-08-10T19:59:00.000-07:002007-08-10T20:09:29.557-07:00A Fabulous RelationshipAs I deal with this break-up with Jerry and the aftermath of his verbal abuse, I have hope that one day I'll have a really solid, fabulous relationship. This is what I think it'll look like: we'll be there for each other - to talk things over, comfort each other, and support each other. We'll strive to meet each other's needs and have open communication. We won't be afraid of each other, but grateful. I want to be with someone who acknowledges that they're not perfect, but is working to make themselves better. I want the relationship to be a path for us to grow and heal.<br /><br />There are things from the relationship with Jerry that I'd like to find again: someone who makes me laugh, who is strong, who likes to try new things and go to new places, who is committed to the relationship and doing whatever it takes to make it work (although clearly there is where we're getting stuck), who takes care of me.<br /><br />But, I long to be with someone who will acknowledge me and my needs. I want to be with someone who wants me around not for what I can do for them, but just because they love me. I want someone who WANTS and encourages me to be whole and happy, even if that means doing things apart every once in awhile or doing something that isn't their favorite.Karmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10708512001313683928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487916836617413819.post-30419178672638024732007-03-27T22:17:00.000-07:002007-08-13T19:50:08.125-07:00Return to Israel<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfb8eTufPmi0lwesQIj6-Kelm1PLNuk3mIWFOwgYNGxC2XWVJARw5y7KHUvSxDe6Bwn4CIZ_qB8vvuqbYMNpz42c_boelVSSVsCh7fPb9ice-yHNFCWAyOg3KjIVx4fI0xvXvoc6YZuuti/s1600-h/view+from+7+arches+2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfb8eTufPmi0lwesQIj6-Kelm1PLNuk3mIWFOwgYNGxC2XWVJARw5y7KHUvSxDe6Bwn4CIZ_qB8vvuqbYMNpz42c_boelVSSVsCh7fPb9ice-yHNFCWAyOg3KjIVx4fI0xvXvoc6YZuuti/s320/view+from+7+arches+2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5098382824294317954" border="0" /></a>I'm dreaming about returning to Israel. And having a family there. And a career. And some fabulous Jerusalem stone house somewhere in the German Colony or Baka with stain glass windows with lots of blue. The house is full of books and CDs of music and friends and family sitting around learning and chatting and sipping tea and eating rugalah and baklavah. I work at this institute that I created - the Center for the Study of Sexual Violence Prevention in Israel. I'm a part of this massive movement to counter sexual violence that is highly successful in reducing the prevelance of sexual violence. And there is peace. Yeah, this one's not so possible, eh?Karmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10708512001313683928noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487916836617413819.post-34174703391693187792007-02-10T12:34:00.000-08:002007-02-10T11:29:05.838-08:00The Kind of People & The Nature of Our RelationshipsI would like to be surrounded with people with whom I can trust, be myself, and feel support. I imagine being surrounded by a nice community of people who I can connect to on different levels, and with whom I can talk about a number of different things with. I don't want to have to be afraid of having too many issues, but instead feel like I'm surrounded by others who are open about their issues and striving somewhat collectively to overcome them.Karmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10708512001313683928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487916836617413819.post-53087747879699318982007-01-13T11:28:00.000-08:002007-01-13T11:32:22.876-08:00A Family of My OwnWhile I am grateful to have the family that I do (my sister and her kids, my parents, etc.) and for the friends who are like family, I would love to have a life partner and kids of my own. I want a routine based around making each other happy. I want people that are around any time that I need them to talk about anything that I want to talk about. I want people that I can do things for that I can count on won't be hurtful to me, that'll just be around at the end of the day, that will come to me to the important events of my life and whose life events I can focus on as well. I want to be surrounded with love.Karmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10708512001313683928noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487916836617413819.post-76740641778456858932007-01-01T09:14:00.000-08:002007-01-01T09:21:49.529-08:00A Few Hours of FunThis possibility reflects my night out <a href="http://jewexploringbuddhism.blogspot.com/2007/01/happy-new-year.html">New Year's Eve</a>. Last night, I was around a group of people who were non-judgemental, welcoming, warm, open. I met a lot of "good people" - people who are focused about being good to those around them. I didn't have anyone ask me about my research; I could just talk about different subjects and relax and enjoy the company and food and drink that someone else has spent a lot of time putting together. For a few hours, I felt surrounded by warmth, joy, and hugs. Hatred, spite, and manipulation did not exist. I think it would be nice to experience something like this on a regular basis.Karmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10708512001313683928noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487916836617413819.post-41689559959003694442006-11-20T18:44:00.000-08:002006-11-20T18:52:02.333-08:00A Wedding<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger2/1211/1036122660719899/1600/628222/wedding.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger2/1211/1036122660719899/320/265092/wedding.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Last weekend, I attended the wedding of a friend. It made me daydream about how nice it would be to get married. All these friends who I haven't seen in awhile and who I've known for a long time would come. I could invite all of Mom's friends. The Rabbi from my family's shul would efficiate. I would love to get married somewhere outside, maybe somewhere with ocean views, maybe a beach.<br /><br />I think about the song that I'd walk to - maybe Shlomo Artzi's Shneim (Two). And I'd follow my friend's new take on the traditional Jewish ritual of circling the groom - instead we circle each other. We'd have a ketubah, but would change the patriachal language and make it a real contract between us - not between groom and my father.<br /><br />Sometimes I picture marrying a woman. And we find much more interesting and unique ways of incorporating the Jewish traditions. I don't know what my Mom would think about this.Karmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10708512001313683928noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487916836617413819.post-53638749974298404052006-11-14T22:17:00.000-08:002006-11-14T22:37:44.753-08:00My Fantasy of a FatherI read <span style="font-style: italic;">The Wounded Woman: Healing the Father-Daughter Relationship</span> tonight, and the author assigns women to think about what their fantasy of a father would be...I think as a way to think better possibilities about men, but anyway, here goes:<br /><br />I would love to have a father, or even a father figure, who...<br />...supports me, tells me that he's proud of me, doesn't pressure me to do things that I don't want to do, does things for me (like trying a new restaurant) that he doesn't want to do because he loves me, dependable, takes care of me when I'm sick, listens to me when I have a bad day and empathizes, loves me unconditionally, appreciates me, complements me on the way that I look, is honest and open with me, and gives me advice when asked but doesn't get offended if I decide to go another way.Karmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10708512001313683928noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487916836617413819.post-64323853454508448752006-11-13T21:58:00.000-08:002006-11-14T15:20:52.098-08:00A Proper Vacation<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1211/1036122660719899/1600/esalen2.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1211/1036122660719899/320/esalen2.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I can almost taste it: Full days all devoted to relax- -ation. Sitting on a beach somewhere or on a meditation retreat or even better at one of my favorite places in the world, <a href="http://www.esalen.org/">Esalen</a>.<br /><br />Or, renting a house somewhere goregous and having all of my favorite girlfriends come just hang out for a little while - Kathy, Sara, Neha, Helen, Anya, Jane, Barbara, Susan, Merissa, and Jennifer would be there. We'd cook ourselves these fabulous meals and sit in a hot tub with a bit of aromatherapy in the evening and go hiking during the day and lounge around talking and drinking wine that somehow wouldn't aggrevate my migraines.<br /><br />Or, going to some destination spa with one of my best friends, Kathy. We'd have several days just to completely pamper ourselves and relax and talk and walk around in robes and have beautiful things around us to savor. We'd exercise a lot and eat well and just feel really good about ourselves by the end. I'd spend some quiet time to myself writing poetry.Karmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10708512001313683928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8487916836617413819.post-25122392602210481682006-11-13T21:44:00.000-08:002006-11-13T21:49:46.790-08:00Welcome to Possibilities<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1211/1036122660719899/1600/last%20holiday.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1211/1036122660719899/320/last%20holiday.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I just finished watching the movie "Last Holiday," and even though its just this simple comedy, it got me thinking. It is a movie that somewhat relates to my life. In the movie, the main character is dying. In my life, my grandmother and mom are dying, and it makes me feel like something inside of me is dying. So what struck me about this movie is a scrapbook that the main character keeps - a book of possibilities that she fills with good things that she thinks she'd enjoy in her life.<br /><br />Then, when she decides to start living in the moment, she has that book to go to get direction.<br /><br />And hence my idea for this blog.Karmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10708512001313683928noreply@blogger.com0